Might be a nightmare out there, but it’s Heaven on my screen.

Some people escape into a good book, I chose to escape into the messy lives of my favorite non-celebrities. Here are my Top 7 reality tv programs that have gotten me through.

7. Legendary

HBOmax

The looks seen on the judges panel is enough to keep me tuning in every week. Side note — Thanks to Meg Thee Stallion, this is now the only way I intend on sitting.

HBO

It’s honestly blowing my mind that not everyone in the world is talking about this show. This one here had to…


The era of no bonding in blurry mirrors with my drunk guardian angels has taken its toll.

Image from Motortion Films

This month marks a year of pandemic lockdowns, and life has lost its sparkle without my weekend run-ins with drunk angels carrying communal lip gloss.

The pep talks from these creatures are like no other. One time a girl removed her head from the toilet just to look over a text I was sending to a part time lover being considered for full time benefits. It was then that I truly understood the power of drunk girls in the bathroom, because a state…


Please answer to be considered for the next potential breaking of my heart.

Photo by Philipp Sewing on Unsplash

It’s time to get real about love and dating. Has anyone actually ever fallen in love with someone because they had an inkling on the way they were going to die? No. That’s weird. Those “36 Questions to Fall in Love” are not only a big, fat bummer, they also don’t get to what we really need to know before getting into a prison sentence — I mean, relationship!

Below is a series of questions to reflect the dating world most of us are really in. …


A re-imagined Christmas carol for the stoners out there.

Illustration by Sienna Gonzalez

I saw Mom get high with Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She coughed too loud to hear
That I was stepping near
But I know what it smells like ’cause my dad does this all year

Oh, I saw Mom eat chips with Santa Claus
Crumbs all in his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy high with Santa Claus last night

I saw Mom get high with Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
Her eyes were pretty glazed
And I was quite amazed
Because the room’s a mess and…


A potentially controversial opinion.

I’m a firm believer that everyone can find the right style of bangs for them. Round face, square face, sweetheart or two-faced — there is a version of bangs that will work for your shape. The real quest, though, is in determining which one fits the current moment of your life. This is important to determine, because you’re the main character, babe, and you need a signature hairstyle.

We’ll go through the types of bangs, and you can determine which message you want to be sending. …


The world’s not meant to be viewed from down here.

Hey….

HEY!

Oh, cool, you know I’m here. Phew. I apologize for yelling — it’s just hard to get your attention sometimes from over here.

Listen…It’s really hard to see whatever is on that TV there. I’m really trying, but from this angle they’re all warped. I just see you watching so happy, and I would like that for me too, please. …

Sienna Gonzalez

I’m a something based in Los Angeles. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and, dare I say, TikTok all @siennagonz.

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